Singer Adele’s secret was revealed recently. It had most likely been an unspoken secret that she had probably had never said out loud to anyone before and it turned into the moment she realised that she wasn’t happy in her life and marriage.
Today, I wanted to explore how this all unravelled for Adele and what created the conditions that lead her to speak her truth, first to her girlfriends and then again during the interview with Oprah.
It’s important because we can learn a lot from this interview about how we can make major changes in our lives.
How Did We Get To Learn Adele’s Secret?
Adele has been doing the rounds with her new album dropping along with her first concert in several years intertwined with an Oprah interview.
During her Oprah interview, Adele was asked about the moment she realised she wasn’t happy in her marriage.
She describes the moment as being during a catch up with some girlfriends and they were having some fun with one of those magazine quizzes. You know how they go.
To be honest, I haven’t done that with my girlfriends in many years! I think the last time I was in my twenties.
As a fifty-something mother, it’s not something I have had the opportunity to do for a very long time. It almost sounds alien to me and my life now, if it wasn’t for the fact that I have done it in the past.
This got me thinking about what enabled Adele to be in the moment with her girlfriends and reveal her secret.
The obvious one is the question that sparked the confession.
The question itself was along the lines of:
What’s something that no one would ever know about you?
As I said, Adele had the choice to answer it any way she wanted to.
Asked in another setting at another time and she may have chosen to share something like a secret crush as a child, or a dream or something else superficial.
In an interview, she could have laughed it off with a funny story.
Yet, in this moment, she chose to be open, vulnerable and totally honest.
Even though someone read it, we don’t know if it was Adele herself or not. One of the reasons this question worked was that it wasn’t posed by one of her girlfriends.
It was from the magazine, so it wasn’t threatening in any way. It was totally Adele’s choice what she chose to reveal or not.
Here in this environment with these girlfriends, she spoke to herself, not so much them.
It was her opportunity to say out loud something that she had probably known for a long time. And in this moment it came into her conscious mind and was spoken out loud.
What allowed her to be open, vulnerable and totally honest?
She may well have got to that point, where she just couldn’t take it anymore and she was ready to step through the opening created by the timing and the environment.
The Time Was Right
Let’s talk about the timing first.
Tony Robbins talks about the five stages of making a major life change or transformation.
In a nutshell:
- We feel we are experiencing too much of a thing.
- Then we feel it’s turned negative. Where once we liked it, now it may be annoying or worse.
- We get to the point where we feel we just can’t take it anymore.
- Then we realise that if it’s going to change there is only one person who can change it – ME!
- The last stage is called the opening. It’s where we can step through, make a decision and take action towards what we want and away from where we have been stuck.
Going back to Adele’s situation, when she was asked the question, her answer was:
I’m really not happy. I am not living, I’m just plodding along.
She was speaking a truth and that could have been that.
It seems it was not just that. Since she credits this as the moment she realised, it sounds like she stepped through the opening because the time and the environment were right for her.
The Environment
What about the environment? Why would that make a difference?
Well, I don’t really know what the environment was like with her girlfriends, so this is pure speculation.
I can take an educated guess that in this environment Adele felt trust, safety and that she wouldn’t be judged.
That she was within a group of confidantes.
All of those factors are really important in order to open up and be vulnerable and share your truth with anyone. A stranger or a friend.
It was also the reason she was able to open up to Oprah, as Oprah creates a safe space to open up in.
That’s one of the reasons she gets to interview some of the most elusive of celebrities. They trust her and her integrity. And she’s been there herself opening up about some of the deep moments in her life.
Why Did I Write About Adele’s Secret Today?
The reason I wanted to write about this is that it made me realise that I didn’t have that option in my life.
I didn’t have people I could confide in when the timing was right and I was ready to step through the opening so I could transform and make major changes in my life.
I had to go out and find the opportunities.
When I was going through a very difficult time of my life, I didn’t have a network around me that I could trust and feel safe with or that I wouldn’t be judged.
I didn’t even know that is what I needed.
Luckily, when I went looking for other things, I found the right environment. The safe, trusting and non-judgmental environment for me to speak my truths out loud.
I wanted to bring it to your attention in case you are like me and don’t have a network around you. A network that you can go to when you need to speak your truth and step through the opening to your transformation.
Finding someone or a group you can feel safe in, trusting and not judged is just as important as the timing in making your transformation.
Adele’s secret revealed to me, even more, why I do what I do. I hope it has opened your eyes beyond just the story she told Oprah.
Reach out if you need a confidante.
Until next time,
LIVE, LOVE & THRIVE