Which comes first, the what or the why?
I call it the decision-making chicken and egg dilemma!
If you are currently stuck and struggling to figure out what you want or why and want to move forward, you will find some practical suggestions to help you start making progress.
So hang in there as we explore the dilemma first to set the scene.
The Chicken or Egg – What or Why Dilemma
Many people say your why is the MOST important part to nail down first.
You’ve heard it before. Even one of my favourite thought-provoking mentors Jim Rohn used to say:
Reasons come first; answers come second.
And this is often interpreted as:
Why => What
My interpretation is that in this quote ‘answers‘ refers to the actions or the how of the equation.
I see Jim Rohn’s quote as being:
Why => How
And I don’t disagree with this, because a strong compelling reason why, will keep you moving. It will keep you taking uncomfortable actions and pushing through the obstacles you will surely find as you move in the direction of your desired result.
However, there is a bit before that has been left out. My suggestion is that it looks like this:
What + Why => How
Now, don’t get me wrong, I believe your WHY is the most important part of this equation. It is the fuel to get you moving and keep you moving. It is what makes you push through the uncomfortable actions to get to what you want.
So, where does that leave us with the chicken and egg? What or Why?
Rather than saying you have to have one or the other first, I have found it helpful for those who are feeling stuck to explore all avenues and angles to find what works for them the best.
If you think you must know what you want and have no idea what this “what” is, it can be very frustrating. In fact, it can be the very reason you can get stuck and not making any progress.
Do you remember when you were growing up and people would ask:
What do you want to be when you grow up?
Or maybe you have asked children this question yourself.
Some children just know without a shadow of a doubt they want to be a teacher, nurse, doctor, lawyer, environmentalist, mother, a scientist, an engineer, a policeman, a fireman, an astronaut. You get the picture.
If you asked them why, sometimes they would have compelling reasons like they were inspired by a teacher or saved by a doctor or they want to save the world.
Others sounded like they had a little less conviction and would give answers like because my dad was a lawyer, or my mother was a teacher, or because I read a book about being a scientist.
And then there were kids like me. I never knew what I wanted to be, not until much later. But it didn’t mean I wanted to be nothing. I knew I wanted to do something valuable, I just didn’t know what that was.
I hadn’t found something so compelling that it lit up my heart and soul, yet.
It also didn’t mean I wasn’t looking and searching and learning and observing to find out what was possible. Because I was always curious, looking, asking, watching, and evaluating.
Deep down I had a why, and I was searching for my what to go with it.
However, if you had asked me back then:
What is the purpose of your life?
I don’t think I would have been able to put it into words.
For me, I was someone who needed to find my what for my why to become visible to me.
I found myself in a similar position in my mid-life this time asking myself the question:
What are you going to do with the rest of your life?
When my children were growing up and needing me less, I knew I had something more inside of me. I just didn’t know what I wanted, and I didn’t feel like I had a compelling why. All I had was an inner knowing that I wanted to be useful, to feel valuable.
I had to draw upon one of Jim Rohn’s other quotes:
“You may not be able to do all you find out, but make sure you find out all you can do.”
If you are feeling stuck and finding it hard to even think what you might want to do with the rest of your life. And, you know that deep down there is something you still have more to live and give to your life.
Then my suggestion to you it to yourself some space to breath and slow it down. You don’t have to have all the answers today.
Make a small decision today to find out all you can do and take an action towards that straight away. Your action could be as simple as scheduling some time to research what interests you.
Life is not black and white, we don’t have to get these decisions right first time. It’s more important that we start moving in the general direction we want to go first, and the path will reveal itself.
We will find some ways we don’t want to go, and we may find some shortcuts or take the windy scenic route. And as we learn more, and see more, we will become more aware of what is really important to us.
Your why and your what will reveal themselves when they are ready. You will know that your what and why are soul mates when your heart sings and you cannot wait to do the next thing and the next thing towards your desired outcome.
You will know that your what and why are soul mates when your heart sings
I’m so thrilled you read to the end of this. This is my passion. Supporting people in the middle of their lives who are feeling stuck and don’t know where to start. If you are wanting some structure to help you move forward then be sure to check out my free training.
Here’s to your fabulous, future.
Live Love Thrive
Angela R